I want to Blow everything up.

5:41 p.m.
I really, really can't decide on what to write. Time to ramble..

So I've been thinking a lot lately. About everything. I have conjured some reasoning.

God doesn't exist.
Life is indeed pointless.
School blows unless you do your homework.
School is for the gathering of friends.
My life blows.

So their yuh go. That's what I've been thinking about forever. The end.


8:28 p.m.
Ever get the feeling where your chest tightens when you think about something going away forever and you can't breathe and you just want to roll over and die? I feel that way 24/7. If you ever want to experience what you would call hell; step into my shoes for a week. Fuck, all you gotta do is go back to January 31rst of '08 and you'll see what hell is in the week following. I dare you. Of course, it's all in the past, of course there's a bazillion more fish in the sea; I've heard all of that shit many times over. Really though I was tired of hearing it the second time it was said, much less the millionth. I mean I know people care about me a lot and stuff. But for some reason I really don't care. My mind is so fucked up right now that I think if you were me, you'd be either crazy or dead. You'd wondour about the same things i wondour about. How easy is death, it's too easy. Which is one of the reasons why I chose to live. There aren't many reasons.

I'd rather suffer.
My friends.
My family.

Those are the only reasons I'm alive. If your part of that, congratulations and I thank you. If not, then please shut the fuck up because I don't need your shit.