holy shit. xD

ohkay. so me and kristina were in her car and daniel ans melissa in the other. they sped up and we followed speeding up too. he got in front of us and slammed brakes. little did we know omfg cop. xDD so we get pulled for doing sixty and we couldnt find the registration and ha no insurance card xD she she got three warnings instead of a two hundred fortyone dollar ticket. yay for nice cops. xD kristina no more stopping at yellow lights. jeez xD. all in all it was pretty freaking funn. and i gave her all my monies for gas. xDDD

fuck everything.

i hate my fucking parents. i am leaving this house when im sixteen. anyone know where i could stay please? i mean it seriously. i need somewhere to stay for the summer.

Hahaha. [:

So three things I cannot wait for.

Friday. [:
Tomorrow night!!
One night next week.

Tomorrow equals seeing The Devil Wears Prada, A Day To Remember, Emarosa, Sky Eats Airplane @ the HOB Orlando. ;D
That'll be so kickass.
Friday equals secret plans. [:
It will be kickass.
One night next week equals more secret plans. [: ((Includes seeing The Haunting of Connecticut :DD))

Jeez, I've been oh so sad and stuff forever. But she is exactly what I needed to kickstart my happy meter. [: I've been happier the past three days then I have been since the incident. And I HAD to write this to get out pent up happiness. My chest was booming. So yeah. I'll be excitable because of the concert and happier towards everyone. [:

Mon/10((7))
Tues/10((9))

<2+1

Square.

The square is pretty great. It's so easy to rid yourself of unwanted emotions there in the form of, being yourself! ;D I met this pretty great person tonight. Hopefully all goes well. She's really cute. <2+1
FUCK.

Friday out of ten: 8ish actually. [:

Yes Ally, I'm going to put up my ratings again, just for you! <2+1

I

I need to get away. Far, far away. Possibly oblivion far away. Will you see me ever again? If you did, would you recognize me? Who knows.

Alesana + Drop Dead, Gorgeous = a Bitchin' Kickass of a time. [:

So the concert was fucking great. as soon as we got their we moshed in the pit and James busted his lip. xDDD then we went back out after he went to the bathroom to clean up and moshed more. >D Freaking it was great until this huge fat chick decided to jump all over me. D< so i kicked her in the vag and she backed offf. so yeah it was fucking amazing. can't wait till Chaos and then AP tour. >DDD then after that, who knows? 8D



<2+1

No.

It's happening again. Why? I don't want to feel this way. I mean, I do, but I don't. I want it to happen, yet it never will? But if I try, it will ruin a great blooming friendship. I'll just let this one be. It's not worth it to ruin the friendship. Not at all.

JAMES!

It won't let me comment, otherwise I would have been the first. "/
Anyhow, here goes.

james,
your a pretty great friend. though sometimes i feel left out when you say stuff like you want to come over on sunday or whatever and you end up at kristinas. xP but the concerts shall make up for that. ;D your pretty much my best guy friend i have and i can tell you anything. i'm glad i have to you rant at and to get opinions on things from. thanks, without you i really don't think i could've made it this far. it's times like right now that i glad i met you and that were friends. thanks, really, for being their.

Haha..haa...ahh...well.

I really want to rant rant rant all about/too one person. but then again i don't. but i probably will anyway, like now...

you wanna know why? really, really why? it's because i love you. i really do. how could i not? it doesn't just go away. i tried waiting on it to go away. it doesn't. and before at least i had the option to talk to you. now i can't even do that. when you said you "never wanted to talk to me again." that one day. it was like the end of everything. and now it's like you've said it again. this time, you aren't in a rage, or anything; your you and that's your decision. theres nothing i can do about it but yeah. i absolutely hate grease. i was only doing it for you, and now mr riddle wont let me quit. so i have to sit in their with you right across the room for 2 hours. and i can't talk to you. much less look at you. it's still so hard to be at school and pay attention to anything. it's ridiculous. most of the time i have my head down and am thinking of you, or something to do with you. completely insane. fuck. i just want to go insane and have people spoon feed me the rest of my life. and i'm glad i found marijuana. it makes me a lot happier when i smoke and how everything melts away. it's freaking great. <2+1

ASDFGHJKL;

Everything is a lost cause. People are always telling me everything is going to be ohkay. But nothing is going to be ohkay until I move way far from here. Fresh start, I just keep telling myself. All you need is a fresh start next year at Leesburg. Just power through the rest of this year and you'll be fine. I need to make it. It matters very much towards my life. I have to get through this year. And I absolutely can't wait for school to be over. I'ma get fucked up and hit so many concerts. Believe it!
<2+1

Feeling. It's only a sensation of the mind.

I really have no clue what I want to write about, though I'll probably ramble on later. I still want to talk to you, but good luck with the chorus thing.

So today was ohkay I guess. Bleh. I'ma go out tonight and go crazy. I have no pursuits in life right now. I know I want to play the guitar well and I know I want to be done with school. Thats about all.

Thursday out of ten: 7

Why?

Why?

Why what?

Why do I want to talk to you?
Why do I still feel the way I do?
Why do I even bother staying alive?

There are a lot of why's.


And Ally; I know that their are people that care for me. My family will always care for me. But if I was no longer on this earth right now. If I had succeeded on that day. I would be but a distant memory on everyone's minds. My family would be the only humans still grieving. That's not how I want to be remembered so I'm glad I didn't die that day. But that is how I know that I am alone. I'm not alone with family involved, but otherwise I am utterly alone.


Wednesday out of ten: 5

Now.

As I watched. I saw everything fall out of place. But how? It had fit so perfectly. Except for the one jagged LIE.

I might as well lie upon the floor, crying, and give up on everything.
It would do no harm.
No one would care as much as they want me to believe they do.
I really am ALL ALONE.

Where too now?

I'll keep my hands to myself... ((and way from you.))
what more can I say, ((I tried, once again.))
what more can I say? ((Nothing.))
In this instance as you reach across the floor... ((I scorned you.))
Awkward silences, I can't take you looking in. ((Not if you can't talk.))
Is this the fear that brings us to our knees? ((To our knees.))
(Causing hearts) to disintegrate, ((Shattered.))
(I'll never) learn from the mistakes... ((Not ever. Just like Lestat.))
a victim's torn to pieces. ((My first blood.))
Let's make a deal so that in the end I'll be left in the fire. ((I'll sacrifice it all only so your happy.))
You're two steps ahead and I'm lost in regrets ((I can't seem to let them go.))
(are you so scared of this feeling?).. ((This feeling of being close again?))
with the face of the clock and a gun at my fingertips. ((Your pulling the trigger))
Face of the clock and a gun at my fingertips, and one last breath.. ((Pull it, now.))
no, a sigh of relief for the futile attempt. ((And alas I'm not dead yet.))
The s-soon to be memory... ((Only my family, will remember me.))
face of the clock and a gun at my fingertips. ((Try and try again.))
Awkward silences, I can't take you looking in. ((It's not worth it.))
Is this the fear that brings us to our knees? ((Fear of being close again?))
(Causing hearts) to disintegrate, ((Again, shattered.))
(I'll never) learn from the mistakes... ((Lestat, you are the damndest creature.))
a victim's torn to pieces. ((My second blood.))
Nothing can make this right. ((I know, I know!))
Say your goodbyes. ((So long world.))
Awkward silences, I can't take you looking in. ((Not now, you've declined.))
Is this the fear that brings us to our knees?... ((Fear of being close?))
to disintegrate, learn from the mistakes.. ((I have learned this one.))
a victim's torn to pieces.. ((Final blood.))

playlist.com doesn't have this one.
yay for youtube. [:






Today was tiring.
Only because I mostly slept today.

Monday out of ten: 6ish?

<2+1

In the future.

When we can all drive and I show up at your house only to find out your out with friends; where will I go? To your house, only to find out your out with friends too. Why wasn't I informed? Oh yeah..I'm not in the loop. I'm in between a bunch of people. So really, who are my friends? The ones that will always invite me places with them. The ones who'll never leave me all alone. The ones who listen because they care? I don't see them. My life has been shattered over and over. My friends are supposed to make me feel better. How come when I need you, your never there?!


Sunday out of ten: fucked.

Kill; Through these walls.

It may seem at last days passing mean nothing ((Everything I've said; nothing.))
But the suns that set cause only pain ((At night I soak my pillow; but for what?))
Violence in words like slashes wound deeply ((We both refused; at one time or another.))
Love is not when you feel only pain ((But pain is only what comes after love.))

Her touch poison flows through my veins ((Even the sight of her.))
No more I denounce all your childish games ((Too immature are your thoughts.))

Whispers (I hear your) ((But you defy my voice.))
Poison (flows in me) ((At the sight of you.))
Lost inside you I'm not free of you ((Please leave my mind.))
Break my bonds again ((Break me free of you!))

Love lost arrogant whore paint strife on this canvas ((Thanks whore.))
Failure I am a fool I should have seen ((I should've seen you for what you were.))

Whispers poison break my bonds again ((Please?!))
Love lost failure ((I am that failure.))
I should have seen ((That I wasn't meant for you.))
I should have seen ((That you will attain more than I could ever dream.))

Pretty much doing nothing today.
Holler at me if you wanna go do something tonight, maybe movies? 352 255 6319

Sunday out of ten: 6