Spit; into the wind.

The hands come from the ground(x2) ((Clawing at me?))
Don't fear life ((It only wants to embrace you.))
We came and saw ((EVERYTHING.))
This has no meaning ((Only a little.))
I touch the sky ((Barely.))
As it's burning ((It hurts..))

This bottles half way empty ((The worlds out to get me.))
Cause your glass is half way full ((You have everything going for you.))
Can you please go without me ((It's easy.))
I swear that everything's alright ((For you at least.))
(It's not my money he owes) ((No, not at all.))

And you say ((You don't want to talk?))
The way we go ((Isn't the yellow brick road.))
It's just as terrible ((As everything I've ever known.))
I can't turn around ((Because the past is the past.
YEA! ((Duh.))
Beware, before I allow them running away ((Ensnared in my glare.))
Can you run? ((Only as fast as, those in front.))

O whoa o, o whoa o, o wha-ah-oh-o-ah-o

Can't stop while the rhythm is going ((Too slow.))
Just say the first words that come along to your head ((No matter how true[[or mean.]]))
One touch and it's already over ((Damn, that was fast.))
I'm not ready, I'm barley sober ((Please, and you knew this.))
I just can't forget you, ((It's not possible.))
I'd do anything to get you ((Still not possible.))
I don't want to get you, ((No, just friends, please?! But I will never beg.))
I just want to forget you. ((It'd be much easier, if still impossible.))

We can't go back ((The past is the past.))
(And we can't go back)
Take a deep breath ((Forget it all.))
And go for her ((You know you want him.))
And two weeks have past ((Almost 3 months.))
(I've haven't seen you since) ((Talked anyhow..))
In spreaded letters ((Super spaces.))
Just forget her ((But I try, soooo hard.))

One thing remains ((Just one?))
Save the cheerleader, ((Oh, the irony.))
Save the world! ((My world.))

Oh yeah, we won our baseball game. 15-7. woot?

Saturday out of ten: 8

Oh Jeez.

Try to numb the pain, with alcohol and pills.
But it won't repair your trust.
You can't stand on two fucking feet.
With a substance as a crutch.


But I can try really, really hard. <2+1

Here I am, once again. just like a pack of wolves. ((I'm telling you how it is.))
the skies were once paved with gold, now they rain on us all. ((But of course I made it rain.))
i've made my bed so i'll lie in it. i've dug my grave so i'll die in it. ((And I've dug it deep.))
tell all my friends i said goodbye, clenched teeth and fluttering eyes ((I've tried this.))
i cant go on like this. ((It's just too hard.))
just like the living dead, i've got a taste for something. ((Living Flesh.))
and i dont want it, i just need it. ((To survive.))
and i cant believe that its getting harder just to feel alive. ((Because oh you know it is.))
curtains close- take a bow. i think we fooled all of them now. ((Put on that smile.))
who you are, what you say, what you do each and every single day. ((Makes me, breaks me.))
i've made my bed so i'll lie in it. i've dug my grave so god help me die in it. ((Please?!))
& i dug my grave. so ill lie in it. i've made my bed, so ill die in it. ((Yes.))

I'D RATHER LIVE, THAN LIVE FOREVER ((Really? Not me.))

im knocking on deaths door, but your already dead. ((To me.))
its either now or fucking never. and that night, we meant every word we said. ((I did, I swear.))
all i can say for sure is, were coming out tonight ((Death welcome me.))
all i can say for sure is, were coming up tonight ((God, hearken to me.))

By the way, all the things in ((---)) are things I said that pertains to that part of the song. Lawl.

If I can't escape you, why must I dream of you too?

Today is going to be busy. Baseball, then Band. Yay.

<2+1

Hey, heyy.

The circumstances I was in when I refused were much different than they are now. But of course, maturity comes with age. That at least, you lack. Doing something out of spite is ridiculous.


Today was ok, I guess.

Friday out of ten: 4

Well Damn.

Fathom. What a word. I was going to write a sentence with that word in it. But I don't want too. If you won't talk to me, then why the fuck should I let you read my inner thoughts. I'm done with this shit. If you wanna know anything from me you guys can talk to me. I'm done with blogspot until they install a blocking feature.

Love you guys. <2+1

Real Eyes, Realize, Real Lies..

So today pretty much was very boring. I thought about everything going on all day. I've summed up all my problems. I'm not over you. I don't know what to do. Looking at you still kills me. Doing this play with you is murder. I even have to sit at that table and make conversation with you, even if it's just mouthed words and hand gestures. I know it might seem like I act very cold towards you, but I love you and I have no clue what I'm doing. I'm stumbling on through life not thinking about much and I even cut you off at the door yesterday and I felt like a complete jerk. "/ I love you and I'm sorry I made everything turn out this way.


I guess the above post turned out being posted towards on individual. You can guess who. It's easy.

Monday out of ten: 5

uhm.

I feel like kicking the shit out of something. I want to punch and kick and bite and gnaw and kill anything and everything in my path until my body refuses to move or until i die. I've made the decision. I am closing my heart off to everyone and everything. If for some reason I don't change around you, then you know it's because I consider you a true friend. I don't have many and sorry if you consider yourself one of my true friends but I might not. Nothing against you. But I need stability right now. I'll be on auto-pilot for awhile. Thanks to you few that care. <2+1

Fuck Everything.

Well..my actual life is doing ohkay. My heart is another story. Let's not get into it. Maybe I should close it off for good until I know it's safe again. I'll end up going through a stage of doing whatever the fuck I want with anyone, my relationships won't be serious, and I might do something really stupid. But I really have no idea what else to do..

fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck.
what the fuck is happening. Someone help? I don't know how you can help me, but I need fucking help. It's as if my life is falling apart right in front of my eyes and there isn't anything I can do about it..


Sunday out of ten: 4